Occasional Green Pastures and Quiet Waters

I'll be frank. There's this girl I quite fancy, and she's not in the country. I had been quite hoping that she would return, yet there were also word that she had found a reason to stay put. Just today, I received the news that I was really hoping that I wouldn't hear, that she wasn't coming back.

I know things like this isn't quite your life or death situations where one would kneel in mud under the pouring rain  yelling at the sky in a melodramatic fashion "Why, God, why??!!", but all the same, after having invested so much emotion, it is very gut-wrenching to hear that something isn't going the way you really hope it is. To say that I didn't feel anything would just be me putting up a façade, and would just be a total load of bull.

As hard as it is to see at this point, I have always trusted what the Bible says about God's revealed will for our lives, which I had very interestingly covered at my University College Fellowship at church. Holding on to the Father's promise that He is always in control, and that He uses everything to mould the people that He loves to be more like His Son, Jesus. Knowing first-hand that He is also a loving Father, and not a sadistic despot also helps me in my wrestling match between what I'm experiencing and His promise of a far better reality. That way I know that even when things don't go my way, ultimately, it isn't a bad thing to know that things will always go His way, and that His ways are always the best ways.

Where do I start? I've got several thoughts in my mind which I would like to get off my chest. They are in no way well thought through, polished pieces of genius, but mere rough sketches of my thoughts, recorded for posterity's sake, and they are as follows:

I couldn't wait a month. A week was all I could wait, and I tore all the carrots out of the ground. Good thing I did too. I was expecting to see orange carrots peeking out of the soil, and so thought that the carrots weren't forming when I saw none. Little did I know that they were actually already formed, or should I say de-formed. Any longer and the tap roots would have developed.

It has been about three months since I've planted my baby carrot crop. They are the reason why there has been pretty much no activity in the garden. Also, my bitter gourd vines are stunted from what I think is the lack of sunlight. Anyway, I hadn't been seeing any development around the carrots crowns, so I decided to pull up a few samples to see what was going on. It turns out my carrots are not developing properly. For now, I think it is probably because the soil is much too hard for the carrots to properly develop. I will give them another month to flesh out before I uproot them all for a watermelon crop.


This here is my Clemson Spineless Okra. It had been plagued by a heavy bout of whitefly, rendering it stunted, but after intensive pest control and the recent rainy season, my okra has had some breathing space to grow and flower. I managed to harvest two today, and there seems to be a few more on the way. Hopefully this proves to be a good harvest.

I guess once this round of crop is done, I'll get ready for next year's dry season. I have watermelons in mind, though I might switch to pumpkins instead. We shall see later on what I decide to go with.

I've gone around the gardening shops I know, and I have to say, I find the lack of seed selection disturbing. Of the local brands I've only got two to chose from - Trio, and Serbajadi. Come to think of it, it is quite disheartening that given our country's agricultural history, we have only two companies dealing with vegetable seeds, and none of the two have any varieties at all. I mean, one would expect at least three varieties of  brinjals and several hundred strains of amaranthus (bayam)...

To balance things of, Trio has imported seeds from an Australiasian company called Yates. The seed selection from that brand has been reliable so far, sprouting with no complications. I've sown some baby carrots and okra from Yates, they have been behaving wonderfully. Unfortunately, the selection being brought into Malaysia is pathetic. I tried getting it straight from Yates, but they don't ship outside Australia.

I had it all planed out: 3 subjects last term, 4 this term, leaving me free to start work by the end of this term. But no, my anthropology lecturer had to fail me. Now I am one paper short of graduation. How am I supposed to start work with one more class left to take? How am I going to face the barrage of 'you should have's from my parents?

It was supposed to be a first year paper. Nothing too hard. I did not expect a heavily biased, uncouth, temperamental lecturer. But maybe I'm just biased because he failed me, or I think I'm un-fail-able. But looking at my track record, I don't think my work is that bad. I don't see how I can score below 49% on my paper at all. Problem is, I can't prove anything since it was all subjective papers.

Regardless, what has been done, has been done. I believe God is still in control despite my failures, and will work in spite of it for my sanctification, whether I like the process or not.

If I could flip a table, I would. Just as I thought the drainage problem had been solved, it is back to mock my efforts.

It rained on Wednesday, and the cucumber patch flooded. I think it's due to the trickle from the drainage pipe in the retaining wall. I let the water dry till the next day, then started digging, hoping to sink a French Drain down the centre of the pathway. To my horror, water came seeping in from the sides the moment I got to about  1' of soil. Nothing much can be done here except to wait for it to dry and pray hard it doesn't rain until I finish the drain.

Hopefully I can start digging today. I suspect I may have to do something to tease the water flow from the drainage pipes away from the vegetable garden. Perhaps a sloping French drain towards the concrete drain on the other side might work... we'll see.

The past two weeks have been insane. I am now chronically sleep deprived. It must be some cruel joke of the university admins to put all the assignment due dates in the same 2 weeks. _φ(･_･

Batu Dam Scenery

Still, despite all that insane work hours, one has to still take a break to enjoy the finer details of life, no? Even if it's at the equally insane times of the day. Hehe.
So on Wednesday night, my landlady's daughter brought back a haruan from Batu Dam. Now, I've only been there once before and caught barely anything. Seeing that prize catch, i had to go when I heard she was going again the next day!
Screw the fact that I only had two hours of sleep. I needed a break real badly. Leaving the house at 0645, I got there in time to join them. It was really good to be able to spend some time in the open with fresh air and beautiful scenery (if you keep your eyes away from the littered water). Pity there was no thrill of a catch to end the trip.

On a, well, distraction related side note, I've finally finished painting my monk. I think I'll call him 'Wu Zheng', never mind about the Chinese characters yet. Haha. Here are some pictures of several stages of completion.

I've also managed to finish Doulos' figurine of Paul the Paladin. Went for a Boltgun Metal, Mithril Silver, and Shining Gold combo, with Enchanted Blue for the cloth. I think it looks pretty good - just need to touch up the finer details on the cape and its trimmings, also the shield, and other finer details.
So as a celebration for five figures painted, here's a picture of all of the together!

I start of the new year with Dr Goh telling us our assignments are lecture independent, meaning he may not have covered the topic already, but we have to read up on it ourselves. Yay. Can you feel the joy and excitement?
That's not it. We've got colloquium this sem as well, and depending on how things go, maybe even two shots at it, one for PSY203 and one for PSY201. That means 2 lab reports, 2 ERB proposals and many many late nights.
What am I even ranting here for... I should already be out looking for journal articles...
With a schedule like this... how la... romantic relationships will have to be postponed till I'm 40...lol.
When the going gets tough, the tough turns to Jesus! I don't see any other way to get through this semester and yet retain my sanity.

You know what? I think I shall go to bed.
I stayed up till 3am on Tuesday/Wednesday at Daryll's place, kononnya do assignment. Ended up Kevin emoing in a corner, Koo and Chi Ken DotA-ing in the dining room, and Daryll sleeping in his room. Had to wake up at 8am to get to Uni before 10 so that Koo, who didn't bring his clothes, can go back to his dorm and bathe.
Screw the PDA. I'll do it tomorrow and just skip judo...again.

Kepong (24 October) - I was on the way to Fidelis' baptism service when we got lost in Kepong. While trying to get back on the route, we stopped at a petrol kiosk to stretch our legs and relieve ourselves.
As I walked into the toilet, a Malay man in his 60's strolled out from the single cubicle with his fly open and his little brother peeping out for all and sundry to see. He calmly proceeded to the sink to sprinkle his little tinkle as if it were the most normal thing in the world. After drying himself, he walked out into his taxi and drove off, leaving the other toilet users in utter shock and disgust.

There's a few things I have to get off my mind so I can get some decent sleep tonight. You guys don't have to read this at all.

It seems Malaysia and the antics our government has been up to have caught the attention of Forbes, an American publishing and media company, whose flagship magazine is published fortnightly (Wikipedia, 2009).

I wrapped up the last of my work at the computer lab and made my way to the lifts. I pushed the down button and waited.

For some reason, this time round I'm not feeling the panic... It doesn't feel normal.... There isn't the usual "Ahhh! It's 2 days to my finals!!!!" feeling which usually hits around, well, 2 days before the paper. No running around in frantic circles regurgitating notes from lectures past.

http://utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2009&dt=0531&pub=utusan_malaysia&sec=Rencana&pg=re_05.htm&arc=hive

While having my quiet time, I found this Psalm echo my very feelings on recent ... ahem... matters:

There's my grandma with a tumour in the lungs and her fractured leg.

Upon your heads will it be, should I fail my PMG!