This was the theme for this revamped YAF retreat, 2009. Over the weekend, we explored the biblical take on pursuing a relationship with a member of the opposite sex with the guidance of Pastor Kek.
We stayed over starting Friday evening at Shirley's new mansion. After breaking Shirley's heart by playing Jenga on her new glass table for the whole day, we had a short bible study with Pastor Ho.
Saturday morning was our first talk, held at Serdang Grace Baptist Church, entitled From Friendship to Relationship. In this talk, we first defined what friendship is. For Christians, we share a bond different than those who do not know the Lord. We share Christ. A Christian friendship can then be summarised as the recognition of our unity in Christ through faith, and the expression of that unity in loving, kind, holy, and God-pleasing treatment of one another. Therefore, through Him, we are covenanted to live together, serving one another and interacting as brothers and sisters in Christ. It is according to this
working definition of Christian friendship that a dating relationship should ideally begin.
We also cemented the fact that the only appropriate purpose for a pre-marital romantic relationship is one in which both people are willing, able and interested in being married. Recreational dating is a big no no! Using that as our foundation, we moved on to exploring the characteristics of the ideal spouse is, based on scripture. For consultation purposes, men were pointed to Proverbs 31 (click here for reference) and 1 Peter 3 (click here), while the women were referred to 1 Timothy 3 (click here), Titus 1 (click here) and 1 Peter 3 (click here).
The reasons behind why men should generally and usually initiate a relationship were also delved into.
Lastly, the topic of accountability and the importance of it in a relationship was also brought up and discussed.
The dinner menu for that night was:
Broccoli and Carrot Salad
Chicken Thigh Pepperonata
Fusilli with Cherry Tomatoes
Auntie Linda's Pudding with Vanilla Ice cream
All courtesy of the YAF youth and Shirley.
The 2nd talk was held at Puchong Grace Baptist Church on Sunday and was entitled From Relationship to Courtship. Here, we examined more closely the initiation of any dating or courting relationship. The characteristics of a God-fearing spouse and the dilemma faced by Christians searching for partners todaywere discussed. A study conducted among seniors at a prominent university in USA on what is looked for in a spouse yielded the following results (in order of descending importance and frequency):
1. Good Personality
2. Physically Attractive
3. Good Sense of Humour
4. Fun Loving
5. Intelligent
6. Nice
7. Good Character
8. Wealthy
Unfortunately, when the same survey was conducted at a Christian university and at some large church singles minitries, the top 4 answers were identical! The need for the potential mate to be Christian slid in at number 5. How is the Church any different from the World today?! We were then reminded that we should be searching for someone that we will be serving God with and living the Christian life with until Christ returns or till one of us dies. In general, both sexes are exhorted to consider potential spouses in the light of Ephesians 5:22-33.
During this talk, the young men were reminded to be straightforward when letting a girl know his intentions, while the women were encouraged to to respond to the man who shows initiation by either letting know if he is wasting his time (in a clear manner), or feel free to appropriately encourage him if he is not. (^_^)
In closing, Pastor Kek gave us this quote to mull over:
Run as hard and as fast as you can towards Jesus. Look to your left. Look to your right. Marry someone who is running beside you (Nelson).
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